Inter-tribal Blues

“Maybe, just maybe I was wrong to wear these shoes Titi. What do you think? Titi,Titi, are you even listening to me? I asked, looking over to my friend who was behind the wheel, as she was driving us to our friend’s reception.

“Idiot! Na your lane be this? Na your lane be this? If you carry that jalopy motor scratch me, you go see madness. No try me”. Titi yelled at the driver beside her who was trying to squeeze his car in a small path that wasn’t enough to pass through.

Tee (as she is fondly called by friends) and the driver continued to exchange insults.

“You? Wetin you fit do? All na mouth you dey make. Abeg move make I hear word”. Said the driver.

“Try me see na”. Tee said as she wound up her window, mumbling.

“You really shouldn’t have replied him. Just look at you frowning and sweating. I said to her as I reduced the temperature of the AC in the car, which did absolutely nothing to cool us in this blazing weather.

Tee wouldn’t stop mumbling and making incoherent noises while watching the unruly driver by her side. At the same time, the car behind us was honking.

“Fly now, Fly. Rubbish”. Titi said.

It was a mild traffic, not too serious. Thankfully, we started moving when we heard

“Gboa”.

It was the driver that Titi had a tiff with earlier who had hit another vehicle in an attempt to speed through the moving traffic.

The victim stopped in an abrupt halt and alighted from his car to start an argument.

“You see? After he will blame the devil. Right from when I saw him, I knew he was bad news”. Tee said

“Na wa. He has finally done the worst. I am sure the car itself doesn’t belong to him”.

“It doesn’t. See the way he is dressed. Either he stole it or he’s a mechanic on his way to have the car repaired at his workshop. Tee replied .

We drove on, hoping we weren’t late to the reception.

Zinaria is a friend of ours who we cherish a lot. Titi, Zinaria and I went to the same University. We were a trio who often did things together, although we had different personalities. Seeing one of us get married is a blessing but I was worried.

Zina is marrying from a different tribe (Igbo). No, No, she doesn’t practice Islam as some of you may wonder because of her name. She is from a strict Christian home.

Her parents aren’t keen to her marrying outside her tribe (Doma). According to her, it was like an anathema to her siblings and her. If at all she is to marry another tribe, marrying from the east is out of the question. Crazy, right? Things like this still happen nowadays. What people do not understand is that love can take you places, regardless of where you are from.

“I still feel Zina’s parents should have shown up for the wedding. She is their daughter. They may not agree to the union but courtesy demands their presence to be there on her happiest day”. I said to Titi

“I won’t blame her if she doesn’t care about them showing up. She might be a little sad but she will be fine. You have been with a guy for five years. Her parents knew him as her boyfriend. Yes, they opposed to them dating but she didn’t listen to them. You would think that with her stance on being with him, her parents would be open minded but no, they aren’t. Now that she’s ready to settle, they are against it? Because of tribe? Isn’t that wickedness? Unless they have something against him, I see no reason why they shouldn’t be at their daughter’s wedding”.

“Still…”

“Look Nia, I get what you mean. I understand but we should be aware that her parents have made a decision. Zina herself has made a decision on how she wants to live her life. She is free to do whatever she wants. We can only advise her but at the end of the day, it will be her choice to make. Besides her siblings are around to support her. Isn’t that enough?” Tee Said.

She is right. I just felt Zina’s parents ought to be there to give their blessings.

Intertribal marriages are more acceptable nowadays. Yes, there are some conservative parents who still follow the culture of opposing their children marrying into a different culture from theirs. Sometimes, we hear, “intertribal marriages have challenges”. Hahaha, which marriage doesn’t?

I have had friends from different tribes whose parents are seriously against such marriages. The excuses baffles me.

I never understood why parents threaten to disown or disinherit their children because they chose to marry someone they love, who happens to be from a different tribe. I believe it is one of the reasons some of us, Africans, cant unite as one. A shame really.

If you look at it, tribalism was handed down to us by our parents and society. Until our generation puts an end to it, history will repeat itself.

This (tribalism) shouldn't go on anymore.

Maybe I am over thinking this.

“We are here. Let’s do this”. Titi announced, as I broke out of my thoughts.

“Madam, you need to re-apply your makeup. At least touch up a little”.

“The weather sef isn’t helping. Maybe I should wipe everything off”.

“ehn? You spent half your time this morning making a fuss on how you wanted it to look. A makeup artist was ready to help you out as Zina instructed but you refused because you wanted it done yourself”.

“Must we apply makeup all the time sef?”

“Which kin yeye question be this? It is now you remember it isn’t compulsory? Just get it done fast. We have to escort Zina inside”
Titi laughed and did as told.

“Good?” she said facing me.

“Much better”. I replied

We got our gifts and bags as we headed into the hall, we were greeted by a beautiful décor all around us, hoping that someday, our turn to be married will come. For now, we are here to celebrate with Zina.